The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List

I got this in an email today and thought it was worth sharing!

The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List:

(From Secular Homeschooling Magazine, Issue #1)

1 Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is — and it is — it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?

2 Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.

3 Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.

4 Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.

5 If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.

6 Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.

7 We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.

8 Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.

9 Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.

10 We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11 Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.

12 If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

13 Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.

14 Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education — and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.

15 Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.

16 Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.

17 Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.

18 If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.

19 Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.

20 Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.

21 Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.

22 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.

23 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.

24 Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.

25 Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!

Halloween Hangman

I thought some of you might enjoy this online Hangman game with a Halloween flavor.

http://www.dedge.com/flash/hangman/hangman.swf

It's spooky spelling fun!

Jackson Pollock for a Day

We've been a lot of really neat things this year, but I haven't had a chance to post about any of them yet!

I can tell you that I finally came to my senses and withdrew from the program we were registered with. I found that the reporting was taking up the little bit of free time I do have lately, and the last thing I want is for this house project to become something that the kids suffer from. My hope is that I'll be better at keeping up with this blog so we'll have a bit of a reminder of our year. Though we're missing the funding, I'm not missing the hoop jumping!

Today Jay went to a birthday party today at a local art studio where the kids got to pretend they were Jackson Pollock and did some paint throwing. Can you say fun?!

They mostly threw the paint using large brushes, but they also got to pop balloons full of paint. I can't think of anything that a group of 8 year old boys would enjoy more, and frankly, I'm a little surprised at how clean he was at the end of it!

Can you tell by the expression on his face that he's liking this art form? Heaven help me if he takes this up seriously!

Shoreline Cleanup '07

Well, it's that time of year again, time for the Great Canadian Shoreline Cleanup, something we've participated in for the past 4 or 5 years. The kids get a real sense of satisfaction from taking part, and we're always amazed at the stuff we find.

This year we were lucky enough to be assigned to our favorite beach (Spanish Banks for those of you who know the area), and the weather was even kind enough to cooperate. With a gorgeous setting like this, it hardly felt like work!

By the time we were done, the sun had come out, and the beach was looking great. We were pleasantly surprised how clean the beach was considering that the city's outside workers have been on strike for the past 9 weeks. There were the usual bottle caps, cigarette butts, and a few other odds and ends, but it was in surprisingly good shape.

If you're feeling the urge to get out there and help, the cleanup runs until the 23rd!

Dilemma

For the past three years, the kids have been enrolled in a program set up by a local private school that provides us with $1000 (per kid) worth of funding toward the kids' various activities in exchange for a little bit of weekly reporting on my part. The school is based on a strong belief in child-led learning, so they are very unschooling friendly, and the kids have never been affected by their enrollment - they live their lives, I write up a synopsis of what they get up to, and our facilitator turns that into "educationese" in order to satisfy the government body holding the purse strings. So far, so good. I'm well aware that, according to the government, we aren't actually considered homeschoolers because of our affiliation with this school (it irks the hell out of me, but I've learned to live with it) - but then again, I'm not really homeschooling for political reasons (although I guess we all are to some extent).
We're lucky here in BC, because we have the choice to opt out of the education system and teach our children however we want, no questions asked. That's how we did it for the first few years, but as the kids got older and wanted to take more and more classes, the pull of the funding was pretty hard to turn down.
My reason for saying all this is that I'm thinking of pulling out of the program because of the work that lies ahead of us with the building of our house. My husband and I are planning to do most of the interior finishing ourselves over the coming fall/winter, and I don't foresee having a lot of spare time on my hands. The only problem is, we need the school funding now more than ever! The $1000 barely covers music lessons, and there's still photography, Capoeira, and gymnastics to pay for (and now we've discovered a really cool "knight training" class)!
I think it's pretty obvious that we can't continue with this particular program. There is the possibility of switching to the government's DEL (Distance Education) program, which offers the same funding and only requires a portfolio per term rather than daily input, but they're also more "schooly" in their expectations and therefore less unschooling friendly (I don't really care if my kids learn about the first World War in grade 10 or grade 2).
I guess my other options are to try and come up with a way for us to do our own fundraising (Bake sales? Handmade greeting cards with the kids' artwork?), or to cut back on activites, which I don't want to do.
How do the rest of you make your homeschooling ends meet?

Schools Are for Fish

Here are a few new comic strips from Jason Holm. He has such a knack for hitting the nail on the head! (Click to enlarge image).

Piano Pals

Bee is loving having a piano while we're staying at my mother's house. We only had room for a small keyboard in our old house, and that just didn't seem to cut it for her, as she always waited until we were visiting grandma to practice. Since moving here, she plays for between one and two hours a day - needless to say, she has gotten really good really fast. We obviously need to invest in the real deal when we move into our house.

Baxter, our 12 year old tabby cat, loves it when she plays and always comes running from wherever he is to sit at her side and listen. Sometimes he even tries out a few notes.

I think she enjoys having such an appreciative audience, and happily indulges him with her feline serenade.

Harry Potter Mania

We joined thousands of eager Harry Potter fans on Friday night, heading out to one of the city's most beautiful gardens which had been turned into the Ministry of Magic for a few fun hours.

The party that we took part in was put on by Vancouver Kidsbooks, our favorite local bookstore, which always decorates its front entrance in honor of the latest Harry Potter book.


We were stunned by the volume of traffic that this event created. It was like the city's worst rush hour at 11:00 at night!

Once we got through the gates, it felt like we were deep inside the Forbidden Forest, surrounded by characters straight out of the pages of the books.

There was a mini Hogwarts Express...

...and Hungarian Horntail dragons just looking for trouble.

Dumbledore, Harry and Fawkes kept the crowd entertained until midnight struck and we were given what we'd all come for. I love how excited everyone was despite the rain, many people sat and started reading as soon as they got their copy. There were people dressed as every character imaginable, the best being the person dressed as the Fat Lady in the painting, carrying a picture frame in front of themselves all night.

Did anyone else take part in one of the midnight parties?

Summer Fun

Wow, I am so incredibly bad at keeping up with this blog! Thanks to those of you who still bother to check in on it now and then.

My excuse is that we've been doing a whole lot of this lately, swimming at our favorite local pools and parks. This one in particular is one of the best pools in the city - the view of the mountains is incredible.

What's everyone else doing with their summer days?

Amazing Wildlife Video

This video was posted to our local homeschooling Yahoo group recently, and it is without a doubt the most amazing wildlife video I've ever seen. It's several minutes long, but it's totally worth watching. I can't imagine what it must have been like for the people who did the filming!
Make sure your volume is up so you can hear the people talking in the background.

The Light of the Night

Click to enlarge image.

Tie Dyeing

Our group of homeschooling buddies got together a while ago to do some tie dyeing. All being a little crunchy, we decided to use natural dyes. I've never actually used them for anything before, but the colors are so incredibly vibrant, I can't imagine why we need chemical dyes at all.

We took organic cotton t-shirts from Mountain Equipment Co-op, and tied them up with string and elastic bands. Jay scrunched up his shirt like an accordion from top to bottom, and tied it horizontally from one side to the other (his is the one on the left). Bee started in the middle of her shirt and tied it towards the outside edges. Once they were securely tied, we squirted the dye from the bottles onto the shirts - this works much better than dipping, as you can get it exactly where you want it (you might want to do this on your lawn!). After leaving them to sit for several days, we rinsed them out and revealed their designs. Considering how much dye we squirted on these babies, I can't believe how much white is still left on them!

The colors are surprisingly stable, and I haven't had a problem at all with them running in the wash. To learn more about these awesome natural dyes, click here.

Socialization

I saw this cute comic that deals with the dreaded socialization question on one of the unschooling lists that I'm on. Its creator is planning to make t-shirts and bumper stickers with it. Check it out here.

Some Drawings

Wow, it's almost been a month since my last post! We've been up to a lot (we made some really great tie dye shirts with natural dyes that I'll post about shortly), but haven't had a lot of time for posting unfortunately.
Bee did these drawings of herself and her brother today, and they are just so darn cute that I couldn't resist sharing them.

This one is a picture that she did of Jay with our cat Baxter.

Here's one of Bee walking Princess.

And this one is what she envisions her life being like when we move to our new property.

I just love the huge anime eyes that she draws, as well as the crooked little grins.

Paper Airplanes

My son is obsessed with this book at the moment. He bought it at a recent book sale, and has been folding paper airplanes like crazy ever since.

There are several neat planes in the book, but my favorite is one called the Hurricane, which is actually a round tube that spins as it flies in a spiral motion.

Included with the book is a pack of really cool paper in a variety of prints that adds pizazz to your planes.

Anyone else out there a fan of Klutz books?

Critters

We went to a birthday party yesterday, and as the main form of entertainment, they brought in a man who keeps all kinds of animals, insects, birds, amphibians and reptiles. It was a lot of fun - we learned a lot, and got to see and touch some animals that we'd never seen in person before.

My personal favorite was Hazel, the Pygmy Hedgehog.

When he brought her out, she was curled up into a little protective ball.

But as she relaxed, we got to see a little more of her face...

...and in no time she was comfortable having the kids give her a gentle pat. Before too long, she was on the floor, eagerly checking out her surroundings.

The chameleon was very neat to see up close. Did you know that their color changes to show how they're feeling, not to provide them with camoflauge?

This Blue Tongued Skink was my son's favorite. His scales were surprisingly hard to the touch.

This Chinchilla named George was my daughter's favorite. I've never felt such soft fur, it's absolutely amazing. He was very happy just sitting quietly with the birthday boy.

This is a juvenile Cane Toad, which is highly poisonous (needless to say, we didn't get to touch him).

This scary looking guy is a Vinegar bug. Despite his fearsome appearance, the worst he can do to you is spray a cloud of vinegar scented air in your direction.

The hairless rat was pretty interesting - they've been bred to grow human ears and noses for reconstructive surgeries. Not quite as cute as the hairer variety though (I've had a few rats as pets and they are lovely animals).

The Japanese Fire Bellied Newt was pretty non-descript from above...

...but take a look underneath and you see where he gets his name.

This charming fellow is the Tailless Whipscorpion, which is harmless (although I'm sure it could do some damage to your ticker if you stumbled upon it unexpectedly!).

It was a very neat way to spend an afternoon, and my kids have been pouring over his website to see what other animals he has in anticipation of their own birthday parties. I'm game as long as I get to see Hazel again!

Do Schools Kill Creativity?

Someone sent me the link to this great video and I thought I'd share it here. The speaker is fun to listen to, and the message is an important one.
Enjoy!



If you can't see the video, try this link.

Capoeira

Capoeira is a Brazilian martial art that was created by African slaves in the 16th century, and it's my son's newest passion (Bee enjoys it too, but not like he does). It combines sparring, dancing, singing, drumming, high kicks and acrobatics - what more could a seven year old boy ask for?

If you've heard the Mazda car ads with the song "Zoom, zoom, zoom", you've heard a traditional Capoeira song. It's one that they sing in class and it's very easy to get stuck in your head for the rest of the week.

It's amazing what the instructors are able to do, things like spinning upside down on one hand with seemingly very little effort - the strength and flexibility that it requires is incredible. The women who do it are an inspiration, and the men - well, as one dad put it upon sitting in on a class for the first time, "I can see why it's standing room only with the moms.".

Ridiculous, we're only there to support our kids, honest. ;D

To learn more about Capoeira, click here.

The dark side of homeschooling?

I seem to be neglecting this poor blog lately.
The kids and I have been busy with various things, but nothing too exciting.
Our homelearning group held its monthly "Theme Day" on Thursday, which was fun. There were many great presentations, and we learned a lot (about Chinese inventions, why it's important to recycle cell phones, bones in the human body, why popcorn pops, invisible ink, etc.) . This month's theme was open, which is supposed to allow the kids the freedom to talk about whatever they feel like, but my guys seem to have a problem with that. When there's a specific theme, they usually look for a way to make it fit their interests, but when it's completely up to them, they have no ideas. In the end they decided to make a movie for their friends using their Littlest Pet Shops and a batch of borax slime. It turned out to be more of an in joke between the two of them than anything else, but they had a ball making it.
Theme days are always fun because it's a chance for the kids to play together as a group, and for the moms to catch up/bitch/compare notes.
We (the moms) ended up talking about how it seems like a lot of homeschooling mothers try to create this image of non-stop domestic bliss, never admitting to the frustrations and outright madness that sometimes ensues. It occurred to me today that this is probably partly because by choosing to homeschool, we're doing something that many people don't understand and are eager to find fault with, which makes it hard to admit that sometimes it's not all fun and games and academic brilliance. If someone asks in that oh-so-interested way "how's the homeschooling going?", it can be humiliating to confess that you haven't been out of your pajamas in days, and that the kids can't be within 10 feet of each other without one making the other one cry (not that that ever happens at our house, of course). That's when it's great to get together with other women who are in the same homeschooling boat to vent your frustrations and restore your sanity.
So in the name of solidarity, I'm here to tell you that in between acting out our favorite Shakespeare plays and studying the various dialects of the Yanomamo people (what, you think I'm making this stuff up?), we have our fair share of crying jags and uncontrollable hissy fits (and sometimes the kids have bad days, too). : D

Harry Potter

Our whole family is filled with Harry Potter nuts (grandparents included), and we're anxiously counting down the days until the next movie comes out:



We're not quite finished reading the Order of the Phoenix yet though, so it's a good thing the movie's still several months away. We'd like to have The Half Blood Prince finished soon too, as Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will probably be released in the summer. Our favorite local bookstore (Vancouver Kidsbooks) always decorates the front of its store to look like Hogwarts or Gringott's Bank, and hosts a midnight party on the day of its release. We haven't made it to one before (the kids were younger and hadn't read as many of the books previously), but we definitely don't want to miss our last chance to participate. They still have their Harry and Hermione costumes from last Halloween, so they'll be dressing the part as well.

The latest craze around here since Christmas has been Wizard's Chess and the Harry Potter Scene It game. The kids are usually playing one or the other. They're obsessed, I tell you.

Any other Potter fans out there?

Rock On!

I took this photo of Jay yesterday while he was playing with his new electric guitar. It's a loan from a friend of his who has decided that he doesn't want to learn how to play the guitar after all. His mom knew that my guy would like to learn, so we've got this adorable mini electric for the next three months (longer if we decide to take over their rental).

I think the first course of action will be to get headphones for the amp - improv rock guitar at full blast can be really hard on the nerves! :D

He looks like such a little rocker with his long hair (the dimples and sweet face kind of blow it though), and I just noticed that the shirt he's wearing in the photo says "Draco School of Rock". Too funny. He and his sister are convinced that they will have their own band one day, with her on the piano.

Now to find him an instructor!

Knitting

I learned to knit as a child, but I was pretty much starting from scratch when the kids and I decided to do some knitting a couple of years ago.

Bee is really good at it. She's very crafty, has nimble fingers, and can focus on a task for a long time if she's interested in it. This is her working on a scarf made with some cute fuzzy yarn that we got at a nearby wool shop. I'm making one out of the same yarn, but mine is in tones of orange, green and pink as opposed to her pink, blue and purple.

I'd love to one day be good enough to make our own socks. I guess I better get practicing!

The Sound of Music

I realize this might come as a bit of a shock, but up until a couple of weeks ago, I had never seen all of The Sound of Music. I'd seen bits and pieces in passing over the years, but I hadn't ever sat down and watched the whole movie. The crazy thing is, it's one of my mother's favorite movies, but she's not exactly the type to sit down and watch a movie that she's already seen once, so it's not too surprising that it was never on in our house.
We finally sat down over the holidays and watched it (my mom included) , and I think we've found a new family favorite. We've been singing the songs ever since (we gave my husband a grand performance while he was trapped in the car with us the other day) and we were tickled to hear "The Lonely Goatherd" sampled in Gwen Stefani's latest single. I can see it being even more fun to watch once you know all of the songs.
Bee is keen to learn some of the songs on the piano. We got my sister-in-law the piano book last year when they bought a piano because she's a huge fan of the movie, so maybe we can borrow hers.
Any other Sound of Music fans out there?